it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
