On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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