I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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