Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
