ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
