Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
