everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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