Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
