it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize