I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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