i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
