That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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