Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
