It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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