He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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