It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
