yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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