I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
