I'm gonna have a badass scar
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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