I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
