i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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