I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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