I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
