I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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