I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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