Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
