I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
