Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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