it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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