You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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