D3 body, D1 cock
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
