and you said cock pushups were impossible
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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