Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
this boner is exhausting
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
