11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
