So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
