I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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