I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
