I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
