this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You need Xanax blowdarts
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize