Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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