Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
