Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dicks are not precious.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
