What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
