What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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