all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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