Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
