so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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