would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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