Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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