My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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