Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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