i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
