It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize