Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
