everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
