so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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