ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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