Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I wear drunk well.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
