am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
