This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she peed on how many people?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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