I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
