I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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