remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
