I want to stick my p in your. b.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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