Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
