How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
